Continuing with the train of thought about indecision and near-unlimited choices that I feel, here is another excerpt from the book The Paradox of Choice that I would like to share [emphasis mine]:

“[...] decisions like these force indecision. Students take time off, take on odd jobs, try out internships, hoping that the right answer to the “What should I be when I grow up?” question will emerge. [...] It is hard to avoid the conclusion that my students might be better off with a little less talent or with a little more sense that they owe it to their families to settle down back home, or even a dose of Depression-era necessity–take the secure job and get on with it!
 
With fewer options and more constraints, many trade-offs would be eliminated, and there would be less self-doubt, less of an effort to justify decisions, more satisfaction, and less second-guessing of the decisions to be made.”
 
- The Paradox of Choice - Barry Schwartz

Anyone? I am twisted with this thought. While I agree with it in the day to day sense with certain decisions, my mind now embraces the abundance of second-guessing that goes on with long-term decisions and roles in life.

Friend Julia commented on the previous post and seemingly felt a mental poke from the words from the book as well. I share the idea that a flow of immersive experiences, ideas, and creations are what make life exploration stand on its own. And it is interesting to note that this sort of meta-life exists on top of the foundation of unlimited choices. Whether an artist pursuing performance and enrichment alongside an art degree or myself pursuing a fire protection degree while abstracted and bewildered by nature and expression, there is a new form of experience in life that I see when I look around at a certain demographic of our generation.

Of course, this idea deeply disturbs those who seek to settle. But not to those who search for a state of mindfulness. For I am satisfied and fulfilled in the randomness that exists in a long and winding motorcycle trip, or living with my belongings out of two small bags, or getting lost in a differential equation that described the fuel reaction and consumption of a fuel under fire.

Something in my mind that embraces randomness is broken. In the good way.

I’ve just finished a book entitled The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. I also copied and highlighted some key parts as I always do with books since I usually borrow them from the library stacks or interlibrary loans. Certain pages of the book spoke right to me and will certainly influence my near and far futures. And I think that from the last chapter mainly, the book will indirectly influence the way that I make decisions, big and small, and with that leave a lasting daily taste in my mouth: a taste of comfort in the overwhelming modern world of information and knowledge.

Here is an excerpt from the middle of the book [emphasis mine]:

“While students at many colleges are happy to discover a subject to study that not only do they enjoy but that will enable them to make a living, many of the students that I teach have multiple interests and capabilities. These students face the task of deciding on the one thing that they want to do more than anything else. Unconstrained by limitations of talent, the world is open to them.
 
Do they exult this opportunity? Not most of the ones I talk to. Instead, they agonize: Between making money and doing something of lasting social value. Between challenging their intellects and exercising their creative impulses. Between work that demands single-mindedness and work that will enable them to lead balanced lives. Between work they can do in a beautifully pastoral location and work that brings them to a bustling city. Between any work at all and further study.
 
With a decision as important as this, they struggle to find the reasons that make one choice stand out above all others.”
 
- The Paradox of Choice - Barry Schwartz

And well: that resounds into the past college years of my life like no other. I like to think of myself proficient in the modern age of time-wasting devices, loads of information, and deceptive items of value. Yet with all of the opportunity laid out before one’s self, we reach a state of bliss and un-motion. This is evidenced by looking back on this very day, a day for me of photographing in a cemetery with a rudimentary understanding of exposures and composition, having a delicious bowl of seafood Pho and wondering how I can make it, wandering about a craft store glaring at the pastels/fancy paper/technical drafting kits, watching a lecture about high performance computing, and finishing off the day by burning a fire model of a church (for research purposes of course).

While I am a big proponent of randomness and a wide range of inputs, I am also a succumber of the pleasures of random input and a productive intake of massive amounts of information. This leaves me feeling adrift in a sea of decisions, which leads to indecision. Luckily, the book that I just mentioned talks of some ideas during the closing chapter. Not solutions, but guides to help you walk across the sea of paralysis. Instead of always looking back and wondering, I just don’t think there is a use in pondering the fourth dimension. Unless, of course, you are also interested in philosophical exercises as one of your too-many hobbies.

Either tonight or tomorrow, I am going to pursue the action of writing a to learn list (see here). Whether or not this will help with the multitude of choice that has materialized in front of me for the past years; I don’t know. But I have a deep and comforting feeling that while it will not make a difference in happiness, it will certainly grow and satiate my soul; and so I share these thoughts with you.